so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
