I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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