his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize