There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize