we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
