My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
