walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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