Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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