I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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