video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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