walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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