the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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