Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There r osticjed everywhere
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Randomize
