I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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