You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize