he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I supernannyed him into submission
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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