the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
