I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
