Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize