Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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