My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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