watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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