So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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