Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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