My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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