You just made me feel so damn special
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
