Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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