handjob tips. give me some.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
