she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.