Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave