i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
