Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
