and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
