do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize