We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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