i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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