How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I believe in your delicious
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize