3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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