You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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