i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
