New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
