Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry about my life...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
