need another drink. this is the easiest way
id be glad to
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
