Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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