so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
