I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
