I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
