if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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