Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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