I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
