so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize