he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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