I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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