WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
