i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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